[An expression crosses his face, then — tight at first, before gradually bleeding into something pained. As his gaze goes askance to one of the collections of skeletons across the room, and the silence drags on, it's as though there's some sort of tension building with each passing moment — and judging by the tightness at the corner of Thancred's mouth, it's tension that turns more painful the longer it's given leave to escalate.
Funny how things work out like that, when you'd rather die than be emotionally vulnerable in a week where that sort of thing is being actively magically punished.]
...
[Wicked white, this is Ryne all over again, isn't it. Another girl stranded by his need to protect her, to handle things in his own way. Another one left wounded by his inability to express things that ought to be.
In the land of the living he would've had a tether in a moment like this. A stalwart comrade to keep him in line when his own worst nature gets the better of him. And there isn't, there isn't, because he's dead.]
It's cruel of you to pit my affection for you against my better sense.
[his expression shifts and changes, and when the pained look settles in, gideon's chest feels like it's about to explode. she almost, almost backs down, in a way she isn't sure she ever has - the horrible, scraped out feeling of being useless is nothing in comparison to the thought that someone you desperately want validation from is disappointed in you. it's the only thing she's ever thought she could achieve.
this week is horrible already - her anger is out of control and she almost feels like she's ten years old again, chasing harrowhark down and fighting her bloody, spitting a baby tooth to the side in satisfaction at the image of half her face under harrowhark's nails.
and then he holds that validation - affection, he says, the way he just says he cares about her like it's nothing - out to her, and she feels like she's being strangled, a little.
is it that easy? it never has been before.]
I'm good at making people miserable. [she says, flippantly.] Part of my charm.
[...]
You were the one that said we should work together. I'm following through. [and then, bracing, like she's waiting for the snap:] I give a shit about your well being, Thancred. I want to help, not be damsel'd.
That's right. And an opportunity that could vaporize in an instant, if I overplay my hand. Or someone gives it away. Or too many people decide to attempt the method for themselves.
I told you I had good reasons for keeping it to myself.
Then don't tell other people, jackass. I'm not telling anybody. And amazingly enough, despite everybody thinking that I am a complete limp dick, I can keep a secret, and play it cool.
Telling you is the very definition of telling other people. You are, surprising as this may seem, another person.
[He shakes his head.]
Though mayhap it's for the best that you're aware. If I suddenly disappear or find myself framed for some transgression or another, you'll at least know who might have a motive to be rid of me.
Why not? If I become a complication, it behooves them to do something about me — and who among the rest of you would object to having one less person to compete against for our ultimate prize?
I'm exceptionally disposable. Who has any incentive to the contrary?
she looks down and adjusts her bandages, and then:]
The goal is making sure as many of us get to the end as possible, Waters. I'm not in the habit of leaving people behind. [but also, if she had to make a list of who she wanted to save the most he'd be at the top, and that's probably pretty clear with how sulky she's being. a pause.] I'd make a nun pun there but I'm tired.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Funny how things work out like that, when you'd rather die than be emotionally vulnerable in a week where that sort of thing is being actively magically punished.]
...
[Wicked white, this is Ryne all over again, isn't it. Another girl stranded by his need to protect her, to handle things in his own way. Another one left wounded by his inability to express things that ought to be.
In the land of the living he would've had a tether in a moment like this. A stalwart comrade to keep him in line when his own worst nature gets the better of him. And there isn't, there isn't, because he's dead.]
It's cruel of you to pit my affection for you against my better sense.
[Fuck him especially.]
no subject
this week is horrible already - her anger is out of control and she almost feels like she's ten years old again, chasing harrowhark down and fighting her bloody, spitting a baby tooth to the side in satisfaction at the image of half her face under harrowhark's nails.
and then he holds that validation - affection, he says, the way he just says he cares about her like it's nothing - out to her, and she feels like she's being strangled, a little.
is it that easy? it never has been before.]
I'm good at making people miserable. [she says, flippantly.] Part of my charm.
[...]
You were the one that said we should work together. I'm following through. [and then, bracing, like she's waiting for the snap:] I give a shit about your well being, Thancred. I want to help, not be damsel'd.
no subject
Well — so be it, then. Playing Crystal Exarch is someone else's expertise, not his own.]
I've my suspicions that one of them has taken a shine to me. I'm encouraging it.
no subject
Yeah? Not a bad strategy, depending on which one it is. They might be able to help, if we can make it work.
no subject
I told you I had good reasons for keeping it to myself.
no subject
Then don't tell other people, jackass. I'm not telling anybody. And amazingly enough, despite everybody thinking that I am a complete limp dick, I can keep a secret, and play it cool.
no subject
[He shakes his head.]
Though mayhap it's for the best that you're aware. If I suddenly disappear or find myself framed for some transgression or another, you'll at least know who might have a motive to be rid of me.
no subject
anyway, she does not like the implication that he might disappear or be framed, and it's clear on her face.]
What, like the demons are going to bump you off?
no subject
I'm exceptionally disposable. Who has any incentive to the contrary?
no subject
no subject
...I would appreciate that assumption being correct, by the way.
[he's probably joking]
no subject
she looks down and adjusts her bandages, and then:]
The goal is making sure as many of us get to the end as possible, Waters. I'm not in the habit of leaving people behind. [but also, if she had to make a list of who she wanted to save the most he'd be at the top, and that's probably pretty clear with how sulky she's being. a pause.] I'd make a nun pun there but I'm tired.